Ten Things I'm Sure You've Thought in Your Hot Yoga Class

If you've ever done a bikram yoga or hot yoga class then you can back me up on this one: you get sweaty. Like, seriously sweaty. Look-like-you've-been-swimming sweaty. By the time you reach savasana you're sure you're going to melt into a puddle akin to the Wicked Witch of the West. And, if you're anything like me, you're probably planning when you can make your next class.

Now that I've been to 30+ hot yoga classes I feel that I can now reflect back on what it was like to be a beginner, before those (painful?) memories leave me completely. Everything on the list below has crossed my mind (probably more than once) and I'm willing to bet I'm not alone.

1. Why do people go on and on about how hard this is? I'm really enjoying it! Stretching is easier when it's warm, and it's not even that hot. It feels tropical, like being on holiday. All that's missing is a cocktail. I'm glad I put my mat underneath a heater.

2. What are those weird, toeless/heelless socks the girl next to me is wearing? And why are her hands covered in white powder? And when your hands and feet are slipping every whichways on your mat and hers aren't, then you realise what the chalk is for and you have to beg for some to stop your downward dog turning into face-meets-floor pose.

3. I should have brought a towel. Having to use your top as a towel - which is already soaked with sweat by the way - is a miserable, miserable thing to have to do. It doesn't help, and you're sweating again within seconds, somehow even worse than before!

4. Are my pants see-through? Oh, and why did I wear pants that show up sweat patches so badly? A sweaty crotch is not attractive on any level. But don't worry - the person next to you probably has one too.

5. We must be nearly finished by now. Wait, we're only ten minutes in?! I will not survive this class. Who will look after my cats when I'm gone??

6. Why on God's earth did I put my mat underneath a heater? Never, ever again.

7. How does my instructor still look like a model from Women's Health, and I look like this? And she wants me to put my leg where exactly??

8. My water bottle is empty. Oh God, death is imminent! If you're like me and bring a gigantic water bottle with you then this happens less frequently. But it happens, and it's terrifying.

9. I knew I should have taken off my make-up. By the time class is over and you're putting on your shoes and wiping your brow, you look like a racoon. Sorry about that. And if you've worn lipstick, then gosh please take a photo and show me the hilarious clown-look you're no doubt sporting?

10. Savasana? More like wiping-sweat-out-of-my-eyes time. Stings like a bitch, doesn't it?

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What else can you add to the list?

Image from Pinterest.

Aerial Fun

What better way to spend a Saturday than hanging upside down like a bat?

Last weekend saw me enter an aerial yoga class for the first time and I have to say that any expectations I had went out the window within the first five minutes.

I thought it would be tons of fun and no workout. 
I thought I wouldn't be able to manage even one inversion.
I thought I wouldn't ache like hell the next morning.

All of the above were totally, completely wrong.

The teacher, Jo, was wonderful in an upbeat, fun, encouraging kind of way which just made us all relax and leave all our worries about the class at the door. It didn't matter how good or bad we were, we were all there to have fun and do our best.

Ten minutes in and I'm realising that I'll have bruises in weird places, that my previously broken wrist isn't quite as strong as I thought it was, and that aerial yoga is all about trust. Trusting in yourself, in what your body can do and in knowing what it can't do, knowing that the swing will hold you if you get into the right position and knowing that it's OK to let go. And I mean that in more than just the literal sense.

Finding out that your body can do unexpected things, like bend into funny positions, or that you actually enjoy being in some inverted downward dog is immensely freeing. I found myself laughing, smiling, and actually being genuinely excited about an exercise routine in a way I haven't felt in a long time. I love my workouts, and I love yoga, but aerial gave me an exhilaration I haven't felt since I was a child on the swings.

We learned how to sit on the swing properly. How to stretch out backs by lying on the mat with our feet elevated. How to lean back, legs wide, and hook our ankles around the swing so we wouldn't fall on our yogi heads. And right at the end we did what I can only call an aerial savasana. We snuggled up in our individual swings like bugs in rugs, with lavender eye bags, and just rested. Rested body and mind. And when Jo said 'come back to the room' at the very end, that was exactly what I was doing, but I can't remember exactly where I went.

I ached like I've never ached before come the morning after. And the morning after that. The morning after that I booked in for my next session, because it's addictive and withdrawal is already kicking in.

Hurry up, Thursday! I want to play on the swings.

To-Read List

I love reading. My favourite thing to do after a long day is to kick back with a cup of coffee (or something stronger if the situation commands) and dive into a new book. I have a never-ending list of books to read and am guilty of buying piles of them at once. 

Here is my current to-read list:

1. Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham (above). I've heard mixed reviews about this book, mostly good, but wanted to give it a shot. I haven't seen Girls so I'm coming into it totally fresh, and the first few chapters are pretty good so far!

2. The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer. I'd heard precious little about this book, but then one of my good friends Instagrammed a photo of her copy and I went straight to Amazon and bought one of my own. I just have a good feeling about this one.

3. Summer at Little Beach Street Bakery by Jenny Colgan. This is on my Kindle, which I take everywhere with me, and as I'm just finishing up Little Beach Street Bakery I figured this would be an excellent time to dive into the sequel. I loved the first one, so I hope this one is just as good. 

4. The Secret Garden by Johanna Basford. OK so this isn't exactly on my to-read list since it's a colouring book for adults, but it's sitting on my coffee table staring at me sweetly, so I had to include it. I love scribbling, so when I read an article about this book I had to pick up a copy (and a set of art supplies) ASAP, and I'm glad I did. I can see so many relaxing afternoons to be had with this. 

5. Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen by Jane Wilde Hawking. I have an obsession with Stephen Hawking (last year you could find me on the beach in Cyprus reading A Brief History of Time) so when my friend mentioned this book I insisted she lend me it. 

What are you reading right now? Do you have any recommendations?

Beginner Pose

I'm not a very good yogi.

I'm not actually 'very good' at many things, but yoga definitely isn't on that list. I've lost track of the pulled muscles, the times my face has hit the ground, and the litres of water I've gone through trying to survive a hot yoga class.

I can count the list of things I'm good at on one hand: I can write a fairly decent novel, cook a pretty good meal (not Masterchef standard, but hey I try), I'm pretty good at my job in my own opinion, and I'm a kicks friend and girlfriend. But I've never had anything remotely sporty or fitness related that I could say I excel at.

So, in true cliche style, when I was on the holiday of a lifetime with my best friends sunbathing on Bondi beach I decided I would become really good at something. Perhaps it was the insanely fit people running past me every five minutes, perhaps it was the surfers who never seemed to wipe out, or maybe it was just the vitamin D. But I made that decision and, unlike many decisions I've made in the past, have successfully stuck with it.

I stumbled into my first hot yoga class back at home ill-prepared without even bringing a towel. Thank God I had the foresight to bring a water bottle or I'd have been carried out in a melting heap. I managed to touch my toes, stand on one leg for a millisecond, and almost fall asleep in savasana. But hey, I made it.

And I went back. Later that week. And again, twice, the week after. I still can't stand on one leg without wobbling for more than ten seconds, I can barely manage crow pose and pigeon makes my butt hurt. But I'm there, twice a week every week, and I'm determined. Determined to become a pro, no matter how long it takes.

I'm not very good at yoga.

Not yet.