If you've ever done a bikram yoga or hot yoga class then you can back me up on this one: you get sweaty. Like, seriously sweaty. Look-like-you've-been-swimming sweaty. By the time you reach savasana you're sure you're going to melt into a puddle akin to the Wicked Witch of the West. And, if you're anything like me, you're probably planning when you can make your next class.
Now that I've been to 30+ hot yoga classes I feel that I can now reflect back on what it was like to be a beginner, before those (painful?) memories leave me completely. Everything on the list below has crossed my mind (probably more than once) and I'm willing to bet I'm not alone.
1. Why do people go on and on about how hard this is? I'm really enjoying it! Stretching is easier when it's warm, and it's not even that hot. It feels tropical, like being on holiday. All that's missing is a cocktail. I'm glad I put my mat underneath a heater.
2. What are those weird, toeless/heelless socks the girl next to me is wearing? And why are her hands covered in white powder? And when your hands and feet are slipping every whichways on your mat and hers aren't, then you realise what the chalk is for and you have to beg for some to stop your downward dog turning into face-meets-floor pose.
3. I should have brought a towel. Having to use your top as a towel - which is already soaked with sweat by the way - is a miserable, miserable thing to have to do. It doesn't help, and you're sweating again within seconds, somehow even worse than before!
4. Are my pants see-through? Oh, and why did I wear pants that show up sweat patches so badly? A sweaty crotch is not attractive on any level. But don't worry - the person next to you probably has one too.
5. We must be nearly finished by now. Wait, we're only ten minutes in?! I will not survive this class. Who will look after my cats when I'm gone??
6. Why on God's earth did I put my mat underneath a heater? Never, ever again.
7. How does my instructor still look like a model from Women's Health, and I look like this? And she wants me to put my leg where exactly??
8. My water bottle is empty. Oh God, death is imminent! If you're like me and bring a gigantic water bottle with you then this happens less frequently. But it happens, and it's terrifying.
9. I knew I should have taken off my make-up. By the time class is over and you're putting on your shoes and wiping your brow, you look like a racoon. Sorry about that. And if you've worn lipstick, then gosh please take a photo and show me the hilarious clown-look you're no doubt sporting?
10. Savasana? More like wiping-sweat-out-of-my-eyes time. Stings like a bitch, doesn't it?
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What else can you add to the list?
Image from Pinterest.
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